I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
worst night to have a conscience
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
