too bad you live with your parents still
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
