You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
