He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
