Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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