it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
