Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
