We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
