I'm really into asian looking animals
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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