They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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