Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize