I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
