Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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