as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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