he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
