This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
