Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
