Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize