just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
