we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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