You don't have asthma, your pregnant
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
