Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
