It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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