YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
cat food counts as protein by the way
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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