What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
