He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
