can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
