oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
