ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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