brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
