We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
