Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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