Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
its liver damage thursday
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