That's when you crack a 10am beer
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
