Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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