hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
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I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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