if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
