apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
