It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
