Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
