there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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