She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
