bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
