I love black thongs
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize
