My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
