I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
