Yo dont text me then not text me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize