at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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