Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the condom got lost in my hair
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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