im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize