dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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