and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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