...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
