Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
